Poetry

DECONSTRUCTION

Dear Professor Bland,

First, apologies for taking your case. In the luggage rack they looked the same
– both black, both medium size, both newish. Your e-mail address was easily found.
Conference lists at last prove useful! An honest mistake, but I have to say
I learned a lot, and perhaps I can be of help.

I’ve never seen a bag so disproportionate - two thirds ‘papers’, and one third clothes etc., the former neatly arranged, the latter higgledy- piggledy. Presumptuous of me but, even before I read them, I knew there was a prima facie case for the papers being of limited value. None of them helped you to remember to keep you dirty socks in a carrier bag, to clean out your toilet bag – it was in a disgusting state. Your toothbrush needs replacing, the bristles are soft and bent ( do you use an electric one – I strongly suggest you do – take a good look in the  mirror, smile, go close up…..) and your electric razor needs a deep clean.

And as for your clothes..far too much brown, grey and black. One red scarf ( in summer?!) brightened it all up a bit. Your under garments were underwhelming,
and that’s just the unused ones, not that it was easy to tell the difference. I notice you have no boxer shorts – why? At your age..

But I won’t get personal. I’ve washed them all out (I hope you don’t mind) and added a few more things from my late husband’s wardrobe – it’s silly keeping them.
A pair of yellow trousers, two pink shirts, shorts of all kinds with various patterns, - Aztec, Anglo-Saxon knot work-, a green striped rugby shirt, a T-shirt with Karl Marx embracing a smiling Che on the front, three exotic floral shirts from Hawaii…..
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and I’ve thrown out most of the papers –they were largely derivative, unoriginal, repetitive, too narrowly focused, pretentious, poorly written, didn’t address the main issues, often started well but from Sheffield went via Edinburgh to reach Hull,
too wordy, too abstract, not a single practical example, nothing worked through to ground level, pointless analyses of only just relevant ‘big names’from the present and the past, much of it old hat.

Maybe this deconstructed bag will give you a new insight into your own life,

All the best,

Amelia Rayshone

PS Please forward my bag plus critical commentary to me at the above address

John Quicke