Non fiction

Rite of Passage

The day of her leaving home for the first time had come. The bus arrived in the rainy and pitch-black Calais at 2.30 am with the intention of crossing the English Channel to dock in Dover just one and a half hours later.

The wind was blowing so hard in the harbour that the ferry couldn’t leave on time. They were stuck in Calais for two hours, the bus packed full of people just waiting in the darkness, somewhere between being awake and asleep. When she went outside and took just one step, the wind took her one metre forward, as if wanting her quickly out of the continent and into the remote island of the English.

The ferry ride was bumpy, as predicted and told by the captain to all the passengers. She was hoping that this wasn’t just the beginning of an even bumpier Spring in England. The ferry keeled over in the storm from one side to the other, left and right, up and down, just like her feelings about leaving her safe haven called home and entering the new exiting life in the UK.

She started to feel sick, and the never-ending ferry ride made her wonder if France would ever let her leave its premises or if she would be stuck forever in this horrible state of in-between, not knowing whether or not she made the right decision of leaving everything behind. Was this storm a punishment for something she had done, or maybe just destiny’s way of telling her not to go, not to take this risk of failing? Should she just return home with the next ferry from Dover? Or just jump now and swim back to her family and home?

The announcement from the loudspeakers woke her, telling everyone to return to their vehicles and welcoming them to England. She followed the guided routes to parking deck 5E, sat on the bus and felt numb. She didn’t know if she liked the fact that France actually had let her go. It had abandoned her! Or maybe she just realised that the next step would be a lot harder than just a horrible ferry ride in the dark freezing sea. She knew that she, in her turn, would have to let go of France and of her life as she knew it. That is a longer process than the two hours spent at sea that night, but for her, the process was finally ready to begin.

Reflection

I tried to write something concerning the problems that some Erasmus students might experience in the first days or weeks of their exchange period. I think that the physical separation from home is fairly easily done but often it takes some time for the mind to adjust to a new environment. We have left our comfort zones in our own countries and for some, this can be frightening. The story is set at the time when the physical separation actually happens. Crossing the Channel is like a rite of passage from the old to the new. It’s an uncomfortable trip where the girl goes through all her disturbing thoughts but when arriving in Dover, she is calm and has left a part of her anxiety in the waves of the sea.

Iiris Valtonen