Non fiction

Obstacles to the Dream

Thursday 11th November. As I was reflecting and typing what was to be my final essay, my brain went blank. Went blank and numb, as if I had crammed too much information to the point my brain refused to soak up any more. I had spent my former 3 weeks week on reading, reading and handing in essays. God, I need a break. Now. I crashed on my bed almost instantly and decided to fumble for my phone: 2 texts and 1 missed call from Katy. “Hey So-Yun ! lon’ time no see gal! wanna go to pub crawl tonite? loadz o’ drinks and fun, west street’s the place J Cheez xxx”.  This text, it is so wrong it hurts my eyes. And to say I’m the international student here. Whatever, it seems Katy is definitely more eager to go out than I am, and since I’ve been declining nearly all her invitations to party, I feel myself forced to go. To places people find amusing, but I don’t. I mean, I’m confident in my writing skills in English, but it’s when I start speaking that I’m doing it all wrong. Every word is mixed up, I have to be quick to respond to others, have to prick my ears and ask them to repeat nearly every sentence. Back in Pyeongtaek, I had pictured myself going out every night, making lots of friends, being fluent in no time and fitting into Sheffield. But so far, I have to say it is quite the contrary. Now is the time I am buried under work. I’m quite reluctant to go out as British people think I can’t speak English properly, nor do they think I can understand them. The British friends I have made so far are Katy and Daniel, her boyfriend, I met during the Orientation week. Of course, I still have my Korean friends, but they are as busy like I am too. Fitting in. Still, I have to try another time, staying home and being friendless is not an option tonight. Trying to pretend I’m excited about it, I type “ That sounds really nice! I will be there soon! Regards, So-Yun”. I get ready as fast as possible, take the 120 near Endcliffe Village to finally arrive at The Wick at Both Ends. As usual, I feel really sorry for these girls who dress so lightly—they make their intentions for the night crystal clear. Suddenly, I hear someone near the sofa saying “over here, over here!”. I join Katy quickly and I start socialising. As hard as it can be, I know I can do it.

Reflection

Though the character of this story is made of lines and virtual paper, the majority of what unfolds in this story happened and is happening to my friend here at Sheffield University. Many a time, she has been uncertain about how her next nights out will be, and when she could have a chat with people, most of them did not go beyond 'what are you studying?'. Even though, she is still willing to try, as she has already befriended British people during nights out, but there is still this frustration feeling lingering on, to the point that, out of simplicity, she chooses the option of not going out, as the character here was about to do.

Christophe Delgard