Non fiction

Trials and Tribulations

Suffolk,

July 20th 2008

Dearest Lizzie,

        I cannot tell you how delighted I am that our tour of the Lakes is a mere two weeks hence! I declare it has put me in excellent spirits! I understand there are many pleasant walks and some of the most beautiful prospects in England, which I am sure will leave us with muddied petticoats, radiant complexions and eyes brightened by the exercise.  We shall not suffer from dull spirits, fatigue or shortness of breath after a mere ten minutes of brisk uphill motion. Nor shall we despair that our slippers are ill-suited to the task and retreat hastily to the tavern.

        You may recall that I wrote to you at Michaelmas that my family and my own dear Mr. Carfax intended a stay at Suffolk for sometime during the summer months, we have now removed there and are lodged in a cottage at Hestley Hall. Last week our party took the carriage to call upon the airborne regiment residing nearby. Although I confess there is nothing finer than a gentleman in regimentals, I was sorely vexed to discover that the officers were otherwise engaged. Despite my disappointment, I endeavoured to embrace the nature surrounding me with a cheerful countenance and windswept elegance. Sadly, within moments I was taken ill with a grievous complaint, my eyes and nose swelled most unbecomingly. Papa, fearing I had a pox of the face, bade me retire to the carriage with my smelling salts. Pray do not distress yourself at the thought of my being unwell, although this has dampened my enthusiasm somewhat for outdoor pursuits, I am assured that this will in no way affect my stay with you.

        Mr Carfax took his leave of us the following day. Alas his departure left me most wretched, leading me to wander the moors and heaths in my nightgown sighing ‘Carfax’ to the imaginary wind and rain (it was after all a rather pleasant day). To rally my spirits, the past few days have been spent riding the carriage out to the various beaches of the county and walking for many, many miles along the coastline. I have spent many a melancholy hour gazing out to the horizon for vessels, taking in the sea air and losing several good bonnets in the process.

        Alas dear Lizzie, Papa is in a filthy temper, and I find I am being called upon to tramp across the coast again, a pastime I am beginning to find excessively dull. What a merry party we shall be when we make our way to the Lake District! Pray send news for I am starved of society!

                Yours,

                Miss Sally

Cheshire, July 27th

My dear Miss Osborne,

    Do not alarm yourself madam that our visit to the Lakes may contain any repetition of those events which lately proved so disgusting to you. Indeed, I have passed this last week at the northern estate of my own dear Mr Williams, absorbing the pleasures of the country. It gives me great pleasure to inform you that though the weather and nature were truly abysmal, my time with Mr Williams was most enjoyable! Due to the torrential downpour, Mr Williams proposed a lengthy amount of time in the tavern interspersed with a visit to the aquarium. Thereby we could encounter nature, but in a civilised manner, and be around water without becoming unkempt. I graciously and enthusiastically accepted his proposal and we hastened to the tavern forthwith. Imagine my surprise (and delight) when Mr Williams presented me with a glass of wine similar in size to my own visage. The rest of the day was exceptionally agreeable! Regrettably my hair did develop a sense of adventure and elected to expand into peaks and horns during the brief run betwixt car and aquarium. I thought of Elizabeth Bennet however, and chose to find my hair charming rather than ridiculous. I feel this is similar to Mr Williams’ description of the dark sky, relentless rain and descending fog as ‘atmospheric’.

    I take my leave of you Miss Osborne and I go to think on what we might partake of for amusement in the Lake Country. I ardently believe that our recent encounters with nature have improved our understanding of the delights of the drawing room. I believe we shall see enough woods and groves from the inside of my carriage to satisfy even our enthusiasm for them Sally! Do you care for fishing? I suspect not, but if you get chance of it I should be happy to provide you with rods and tackle, show you the best spots. If you care not for it, may I suggest replacing rods and tackle with ale and wine? It is within my power to show you the best spots in this matter as well. I depend on hearing from you soon my dear Sally, and pray that you and your family are in good health and spirits. With kindest regards and wishes,

Your friend,

Miss Elizabeth

Elizabeth McClenan and Sally Osborne