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Who Am I

WHO AM I? I am a sinner…

I am a proud, vain, constantly self-critical chocoholic

Who fucked my best friend’s boyfriend

Who hates my husband and will hopefully leave him

Who decided last week that my soul mate is clearly the guy who fucked me over after 5        

dates 2 years ago

Who lies to everyone I know at least once a week

Who doesn’t remember god’s love for me often enough

Who’s been sleeping with a guy for 2 months, he has a girlfriend but she goes to

Man. Met. Shit, I feel so bad but I love him! Argh!

Who can’t stop farting

Who fakes orgasms

Who wants dirty sex

Who took a shit in a mate’s house before realising he had no loo roll, so sat in the

sink, rinsed off my arse and used a towel to dry off!

Who fancies my boyfriend’s sister

Who likes to stalk people in female changing rooms

Who has been sleeping with a guy for 2 months when I’m pretty sure I’m gay…

Ruth Sampson

'For this pieceI left pieces of paper in toilets around Sheffield asking people to confess their sins, and then collected all the confessions together and wrote them up in the style of Ginsberg’s Howlon a blackboard in a uni lecture theatre (my heart skipping a beat every time I heard someone walk past the doors!). Obviously all authors remained anonymous, so don’t worry and thank you to anyone who recognises these words… you know who you are!

Piss-Taking and Shit-Stirring, Ltd, ‘Confessions of Four Walls, Unknown and Forgotten into the Ghostly Haze’